How to Select a Homeschool Curriculum
Day 1: Google homeschool curricula. Get distracted by trying to figure out the plural of curriculum. (Classical ed folk will know the Latin plural. Unschoolers will know the name for it in Swahili, or create a mathematical code that stands for each of the letters. People like me will look it up on merriam-webster.com, and then still misspell it.)
Start reading at result number 1 of 35, 000,000,000,000,000. Begin seriously doubting not only your capability to homeschool, but also your worth as a carbon-based lifeform by result number 3.
Day 2: Take a deep breath and review the reasons you are considering homeschooling. Call a homeschooling friend. Discover that people who truly want to give their child the best education use Charlotte Mason.
Call another friend. Find out that people who truly want to give their child the best education use Classical Conversations.
Call another friend. Learn that your first two friends are destined to failure, because the only way to ensure success is through Montessori.
Day 3: Read about Waldorf. Mail order chickens. Call your husband at work and ask him to pick up some wire mesh for the coop on his way home.
Cancel chicken order.
Day 4: Narrow down your list. Discard method 6, which lists growing cannibis as a science experiment. Rule out number 34 because it would require becoming Amish. Anything that made you seriously consider self-destructive behaviors (like watching Matlock or buying your children drums) should go too. You can look at those during year 2.
Day 5: Put all the curricula that you haven’t crossed out into a hat, sprinkle them with holy water, and pick. Order the complete package, including highlighters, playdough, and an exact historical replica of Leonardo Da Vinci’s day planner. (That last one might be a gimmick.)
Day…Somewhere down the road: Discover that you and your children can have a great experience and learn tons no matter which path you chose.
P.S. Sorry if you were expecting actual advice!