I’m not saying that the tooth fairy is a ditz. Ok, I kind of am. I hope it’s not libel or anything, but I feel like someone out there needs to tell the truth. And the truth is, the Tooth Fairy is an unreliable character.
More than once she has left my kids hanging when they have awoken early, the hope in their little eyes gleaming, begging not to be disappointed. I have had to cover for her, as I now realize my parents also had to cover for her. And I don’t think I’m alone in this.
When that plaintive, heartbroken cry rings out, “Mom, the tooth fairy forgot to come,” a parent has little choice but to say, “Maybe you just missed it. Here, let me look.” Which is why sleight of hand is taught in parent prep courses right along with Lamaze breathing. Our whole society is enabling the tooth fairy’s untrustworthy behavior.
The reason this is coming up now, on the eve of Easter, is that the Easter Bunny would never be able to get by with the kind of stuff the tooth fairy pulls. I mean, we parents can deal with her slip-ups; we always have quarters around. But it’s not like we hide extra jelly beans in the sock drawer just in case Peter Cottonball is hungover and doesn’t make it.
The fact of the matter is, though, that Peter never does miss an Easter. I suspect he’s an accountant for the rest of the year. All he does is slip on some wire-rimmed glasses, and the chaps at work never notice his tail.
To come to the point, I propose that we fire the tooth chick and let Peter C. take over for her. He can quit his job at the IRS, put his money skills to good work—possibly diverting tax funds for the purpose (think socialized dental plan)—and have the opportunity to follow his passion for making kids happy all year around, and not just at Easter.
Leave comments if you’re on board.
Fun post! I’ll you tell you this much…if you tell the kids (gasp) fictional characters don’t exist…you don’t have to pay any money for teeth (.25??…obviously Bethany and Josh have not heard of inflation…or at least they have not demanded it put to good use in your household.)
On the other hand, in my situation, your stuck BEING the Easter Bunny and if, like us, you forget to do the whole egg coloring thing, and were out of town for the only Easter Egg Hunt in your circle…your kid feels seriously jipped. So guess what we’re doing tomorrow
Painting and hiding day old Eggs…:P)
Hope that made you chuckle! Good night!
Ha ha! Yeah, actually they know all of them are not real. But I still give them money for teeth, when I remember…and you’re right, we haven’t discussed inflation.
Have fun painting your eggs!